Talk to me…
Sadly, I have just now realized that allot of people have not been able to keep up with the audio video extras of StFuD. Wether your work or school has a firewall, or you just can’t handle quick time technology, I apologize. You are missing out on a totally different and cool style of posting.
But here’s what I will do. I’ll go back into the archives and outline whatever video or audio thing you are missing. It will be just as if you were actually witnessing the post with your own eyes.
Right now I am at work making 15 DVDs of a six minute Nextel video. Not the funnest time spent on a Friday night, but whatevs, overtime taste good in my belly come check time.
Anyway…
Ive been meaning to post about the chris rock theory. I had this great thought about the two key areas necessary to keep a good relationship good, only to expound said theory to warren who told me chris rock had already done it in one of his monologues. Yes, both ideas had very similar points, but I like my wording better.
Rock says you have to have a good time fucking, and eating. Cause that’s what you do. You fuck, and then you go get a sandwhich.
I take it one step further (it’s a step that rock implies but I don’t care), the fucking has to be good, and the time not-fucking has to be good too. Even time together when you are not ingesting food.
Some prudish people might say that what’s really important is the not-fucking time. That a relationship has to have deeper ties than just the physical. Because the body will cool at some point, and any long-range partnership needs something more than shafts, wet holes, and moist tongues to make it in the long run. The love, the connection, the private time spent not inside each other is where true happiness lies.
Others may argue that the fucking is what intimate relationships are all about. How much closer can you be then when you are inside someone, or they are inside of you? Sex is where that spark hides, the electricity of attraction that melds people together, the loss of singularity into the base magical and scary area of plurality. If you don’t have fun fucking someone, then how can you be with them?
Well, who’s right? The fuckers or the non-fuckers. The answer, obviously, is both. (This is all communal knowledge that any relationship pundit worth her meddle will spit at you, I know, but I love saying it in my own idiosyncratic way). Both the fucking, and the not fucking has to be good.
Sex is an intuitive, vulnerable, incredibly self-conscious state. It rewards tremendously, but it easily gets you into trouble as well. If you are not having a good fucking roll with whomever you roll in the hay with, then you have to communicate that and do what it takes to make it better, or leave if the chemistry just isn’t there. Because fucking isn’t everything, but damn, it might just be the funest part. If you’re not doing it, then what the hell are you doing?
But the time spent not fucking is just as important. If you fuck like a crazed bonobo monkey in heat, but then spend the rest of the day in uncomfortable silences, or bitchy tête-à-têtes, or just wishing your significant otro would just shut the fuck up, then we have issues. There’s allot of time to fill with this person, you better maker sure your humors stack up, (not necessarily match perfectly, but mesh well), that you can keep a conversation, that you can pass that time having a good time, that your intellects meld in a ratio that makes you happy. Because everybody has to do something after crazy Viagra monkey sex.
There, I have spoken. The fucking is important, but the not-fucking time is important as well.
I’ve been photoblogging too much. I owed you one of these.
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