September 8, 2004

  • I know its been a while…

    Listen. Life is tough. But sometimes, out of nowhere, you win the lottery. Or get a VO gig. VO you say? Voice over. That’s right. While working a job at my office, the creatives asked every guy to read the copy. I went into the edit room and did it really fast, uncaring, very monotone, just straight up: “The new chocolate bar with m & m minis in crunchy and peanut butter m’azing, are you?” Simple shit.
    Cut to two days later, they are mixing the spot at the sound design house (sound lounge for those of you in the know) and I get a call from the editor saying I had to get down there to rerecord cause im in the final three call backs. But oh no! I have a client coming in a half hour and we got some shit to recut… he says fine, we will use your old one.
    My client comes in, we do what we do, and bam, new call, get the fuck down here. Oh shit, off I go. Its only like 6 blocks away, down fifth into the building up the elvator to lucky number 13 down one floor to the correct studio, and into the corner recording booth, where the mike is hot and the feeling is nervousy (like that bushism?). they replay what I already had, and I try to mimic it as best I can. I get some comments and try it again. Reapeat: very nervous, not sure if I can recreate the nonchalance. Plus, the comments they tell you are just mastercard priceless: “um, could you do it like you really like the bar, but, um, the person listening doesn’t deserve it?’ Oh you betcha, I got that shit covered. I do it about 20 times. Then I do just the Mazing are you part. First, too much Ah-mazing. So just mazing, then they want more Eh-,mazing like em an ems. I walk out and feel like I have failed.
    Cut to later that fucking day when the agency producer calls and tells me I am the new voice of M’azing candy bars. Well holy shizzle I say. Holy shizzle.
    When the editor, my man Maury returns he asks me if I know how much scrilla I am about to possibly rake in, if in the parlance of our times, it goes ‘national.’ I say what, 2, 3 4, grand. He laughs. Try more like ten or twenty. That’s’ right bitch, who’s your voice over daddy now, huh, huh?