March 11, 2004

  • i'm here.

    ready to share whatever measly thoughts that drip out of my head with the entire world, ready to wow them with the minutae of my mundane existence, ready for a star studded extravaganza of mind blowing ideas and incredible insights.

    with the reality sneaking in the edges, that this blog will be, truthfully, no more or less compelling than any other fucking blog, and that the only people who will ever give this a second glance are those few idiots whocount themselves as my friends (and they will probably just glance at it never to return), or are just weirdly bored and come across it randomly. how 'bout this, maybe some lonely searcher will have my same name and search themselves online to find me not them blurting off about their (my) life. it could happen.

    so enough about me (ha, blog humor), lets talk about motivation. lets philosophize. . . bear with me, this is my first post and i want to get something, you know, substantive or entertaining, or engaging, so... okay. why start a blog? obviously, i am an egomaniac at heart and want everyone to think im great and like anyone else who is part of a social species, i. fuckin' e. every human, i care about my position in the scheme of things, care about what people think of me, and want to be popular, and in this day and age of media orgies and the unstoppable stamp of your culture on your being (more nurture rather than nature) being known, celebrated, a celebrity, is just that awful junior and high school popularity dance/game just in a slightly greater scale.

    so here i am, a lonely human amongst millions of others, trying to somehow make a mark, caress my ego into thinking i'm special, i am better, i am different, i am cooler, whatever, that i exist and am important. i will not just be a number, one of the vast peons, cogs in this machine of life, plodding through this meaningless existence with no hope of ever rising to the stars... you get what im saying. even if i am just one of millions before me and after me, i am now here, and this, is my story. i am unique, and i do matter, and here is why...